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WE ARE TOO HARSH ON OURSELVES

by jenellewitty@gmail.com

Giving ourselves permission to rest and not get all the things done. Why being too harsh on ourselves it’s doing us any favours.

Another week has slipped by me, and now, it is once again Friday afternoon. As I stare at my week’s to-do list and how little I actually got done, I’d usually be mad at myself. Today though, rather than be harsh, I’ve decided to give myself a break.

WE ARE TOO HARSH ON OURSELVES

In talking to friends, I notice a pattern that we can be really harsh on ourselves. Be it in setting too lofty a goal, allowing distractions, or shaming ourselves for not achieving what we thought we would. Being too harsh on yourself takes a toll. It might not be obvious all the time, but little by little if we knock ourselves down, it is much harder to build ourselves back up. On a week where I didn’t get much of my to-do list done ordinarily, I might freak out and panic. Then, I’d sometimes overcompensate by creating work full of shortcuts. This week, I decided rather than induce more anxiety, I would take a step back and observe.

So, I didn’t get all the things I wanted to get done. Is the world falling apart? (Ugh, maybe I shouldn’t tempt fate in 2020 and ask a question like that). Did it really hurt anyone? No. Will I get on top of it soon? Yes.

EASY STEPS TO GET THINGS ON TRACK

When it all feels too much, or if unforeseen circumstances pop up, it’s easy enough to step back, look at the workload, and identify what needs to be a priority. If I can get the most important or time-sensitive things done, chances are that will be a weight off my mind.

My next step is generally to communicate where I am at if any project on my to-do list concerned other people. Assuring them I am working on it and have a realistic timeframe in mind.

Writing out a list or diary of things I need to achieve, including all of the little but time-consuming things, really helps. It may seem over the top, but at times, when I know I have a lot on, I write down things like “wash and style hair” or “vacuum” and allocate a time slot. Then I can really see how much time I actually have to dedicate to each project.

CARVE OUT SELF-CARE TIME

I shared on Instagram yesterday that I have sleep troubles and always have done. This week I barely slept, so I spent a few days feeling like a zombie. I barely had the energy to get anything done, my stomach was upset and my head throbbed.

Lack of sleep really messes with your whole system!

In an effort to pick myself up, I made sure to exercise, meditate, skip caffeine, take a shower, do my skin-care routine, eat healthy meals, and slow things down. While I should have been working yesterday, I literally sprawled out on the couch and watched The Tourist. I wanted a movie I’ve seen a few times, set in Europe (since we can’t travel) where I could simply switch off. All of those little self-care things helped and I went off to sleep so easily last night. Waking up feeling SO much better, today I felt like a new person.

Carving out that self-care time was vital.

why being too harsh on ourselves isn't helpful

HOW ARE YOU GOING?

Instead of being angry that I didn’t film what I was aiming to, I decided to share how I was feeling over on Instagram and be real. It was so nice to give that permission to be open, rather than push myself to film something and look at the quality later and not be as happy with it. I’m glad I shared, and it made me want to share this blog post today too.

I hope in reading this maybe you will think twice when you are giving yourself a hard time. We are only able to do so much and if we push ourselves without taking time out to rest, we aren’t doing ourselves any favours. So please be kind to yourself.

How are you going? I’d love to hear how you have been. And where things are at for you in your part of the world. Please let me know what is up in the comments below. Thank you in advance! I love hearing from you all.

Oh and just quickly, this was another outfit I shot pre-COVID lockdown, intended as a workwear outfit story. Unfortunately, it wasn’t great timing as soon afterward everyone was shifting to working from home and searching for loungewear. As things slowly get back into a new rhythm, I figured I’d share it now. The whole look is pretty much from Boden, who are great for workwear. Sadly, the jacket has since sold out but the pants are on sale. Details are below with a few coat alternatives.

OOPS!

One final thing- as I look over this post, I see that I’ve shared almost the same location and the exact hair-do as in my last blog post. Something I always aim not to do! My bad. Can you tell I’ve been out of sorts this week? Usually, upon realising this sort of mistake, I’d swap out the images or re-write the post, but you know what? I am not going to. It’s possibly just my OCD which makes me want to ensure the posts are different and fresh but it does take extra work and planning. This week, clearly my planning went out the window.

In reality, I tend to shoot outfits in batches, then share the posts mixed up so you aren’t seeing the same locations twice in a row. Maybe that’s a little insight into my process. Or my inner madness? Either way, I’m done being harsh on myself about it! xx Jenelle

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WEARING:
BODEN SILK SHIRT
CHECK PANTS
CHECK COAT
WITTNER HEELS
ISABEL MARANT BAG
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