A personal post about love, loss and realising I sort of did have an older sister after all.
This past week I had all the intentions of posting pre-written posts, as per usual, only to find myself (of course) without the time to hit publish. It’s funny what goes out the window when you step away from your busy schedule, to instead dedicate some downtime to things like family. Which is exactly what ended up happening this week on my trip back to my hometown of Adelaide and across to our childhood second home of Port Lincoln.
Living across the country from my family, it is easy for me to generally commit my time to work. I don’t have those weekly family dinners and regular catch ups. But, I guess, in truth, it can get a little lonely. I wonder how many people move away from their home base and give up those little moments that can be easily forgotten but actually bring you a lot of joy. Take for example sharing a birthday with someone who you grew up with. As I had shared in my recent post, I was over in Port Lincoln for my cousin Ellisa’s 40th.
LOVE, LOSS AND SISTERHOOD
As I loaded the last of my bags into the car for the long road trip back to Adelaide, both Ellisa and I could not help but shed a few tears (which are back- right now as I type this- gah!). Not seeing each other all the time is more difficult than I think I realised. She probably feels more like a big sister to me than I knew. I spoke of it late last year, but we both have spent this past eleven months grieving the loss of our beloved Nanna. Knowing that she was struggling with the loss too but not being able to be there for one another has felt like a huge gap. It’s crazy to think that the loss of one family member can create a closer kinship or sisterhood.
THE BITTERSWEET NEW CHAPTER
One task we had last weekend which though sad, was actually beautiful was to (at thier request) scatter the ashes together of both of our grandparents. I feel like I’d said goodbye to my Nana at the funeral service but I never actually got to be at my Poppa’s service. At the time I was living in Perth studying and couldn’t get back for it. I remember coming home in my Uni holidays to find his funeral card on my dresser and to be honest, it came as a shock. Not having that closure, I’d for a split second forgotten he was gone. It was such a strange thing!
Anyway, our task was actually beautiful. Despite all of the rain we had been getting, that morning was sunny, warmer and calm. Just meters from their old family home (where Ellisa grew up and I spent my school holidays) at a spot where we remember them taking us to play, Ellisa waded out into the ocean to scatter them both together. It was bittersweet to send them out into the world together, the way they had wanted to be- free and timeless. Within a minute we saw two dolphins swimming away from the spot together! It was easy to imagine both of our grandparents on a new journey in their favourite place.
I will forever think of them when I spot a dolphin just as I think of Nana now when I see roses or smell frangipanis in bloom. Given the stories I have heard of them skinny dipping (yep!) and of his travels with the Navy all around the world, it all felt just right.
Why write about all this? Isn’t this kind of personal?
Well, yes, honestly it is.
As I type this post (to be published later), I am on a plane flying home. Somehow those flights always feel somewhat reflective. While we were in Adelaide we did get to catch up with some friends and the conversation came up about talking about the grieving process and death in general. Even to type, this feels a little dark but in truth, it is one of the only certainties we have in our lives and sooner or later we all have to grieve. I imagine this will put a lot of people off, coming here for outfit suggestions and so on.
At the end of the day, I have enjoyed having this blog as a platform to share all sorts of things, be it sale advice, beauty reviews or touching on more personal topics. Even if you aren’t in the frame of mind, I like opening up about personal topics because I can. Maybe it is a type of therapy, or a call for people to be a bit more open or me to feel closer to you guys.
At times, to be real, I feel that I go through the motions a little bit writing about an outfit up here on Inspiring Wit. I mean, how different can I make an article about my latest favourite pair of vintage wash high waisted straight leg jeans? hehe As I scrape to come up with something worthy of your time there are times where I just struggle to put anything all that interesting into words. You are all inspiring, intelligent people and I want to honour that, not insult your intelligence with hollow posts.
BUILDING ON COMMUNITY
Personally, I love to read blogs that delve into personal topics from time to time because we all go through things and you never know what will resonate. I could just pick up a magazine and thumb through the pages, not feeling attached to anything personally. I used to do this all the time. These days Instagram honestly (at times) feels a little like what magazines once were for me. A place to seek out fun visual inspiration and add a few new things to check-out to my list. I read a blog post recently from a girl in the UK who had just lost her father. Reading it I was so touched and felt in a small way closer to a community of people sharing their experiences as I read through the comments.
You never know who is reading, nor how in some tiny way you might inspire someone to live their best life or share something that helps bring a smile to someone else.
To be a little lighter, my week away also involved endless fun and cute moments with Ellisa’s super adorable daughters Annika and Lexie. Another sisterhood! We went to the playground, did cartwheels, danced, played with dolls, they plaited my hair, drew, went for drives, spotted a seal, played naughts and crosses and I even had Lexie (who is six) paint my nails. I can not tell you how much fun it was to get to spend time with those two! Both cheeky, with curly ginger hair and freckle-faced grins. So as I sign off now before we descend back into Perth, I am pretty damn lucky to have had such a fun trip.
The excitement continues as I also have my sister-from-another-mister Chloe arriving from Brisbane a few hours after me to stay with us. Chloe and I lived together for three years (she was my longest housemate) and I have not seen her in almost eight years!!! Poor Mario is going to have to put up with us talking NON-STOP!! hehe Lucky he just got new noise-canceling headphones. This week is definitely all about sisterhood!
Till next week guys, thank you for reading this one and being part of our little slice of online community. As ever, I love hearing from you so send me a DM or leave me a comment below.